We have all heard this phrase before. It seems to be
society's default explanation for an event that happens without any apparent reason.
Personally, I believe that we use this phrase to make ourselves feel better. When
something bad happens, we want to believe that there is some other inherent
good that results.
On several random occasions since my injury, I have been
told this phrase by others. For a very long time, it was impossible to see any
good that came out of my situation. How can a life of constant pain and
inability to do the things I love have any positive effect? In fact, I would
get angry when people asked me to remember all of the numerous blessings God
has given me. Yes, I have a great husband, supportive family, and a wonderful job.
But somehow the pain shifted all of these blessings out of my mind. There was
no room for grateful thoughts among the pain.
Recently, I have been searching more for my
"reason." Without realizing it, I have subconsciously made several personality
changes over the past two years. Before, I lacked empathy for those who
suffered. Upon learning that another person suffered from some non-life
threatening bodily injury, I would simply dismiss their pain, thinking that it
could not possibly be that bad. I was caught up in my own life, my own petty
desires and wishes. Everyone else's needs came second.
While I still suffer from these same failings, I have
learned the importance of asking others how they are and genuinely caring about
the answer. I have learned that each and every person has their own battle,
whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. More importantly, I have
developed a deeper faith with God and have discovered with awe the amazing support
that a church community is able to provide. While I often think I would give
anything to go back in time and change what happened to my foot, I would hesitate
before sacrificing this new appreciation for others and deeper faith.
I will never give up searching for answers and relief for my
pain, but if this is the cross that God has given me to bear, then I must bear
it the best I can.
